Engagement [editted ]

My friend advised me,"Wani,I advise you,please do not engage." Fullstop.Hurm..?

She continued,"If you have found somebody that suits you,that is your choice to be your soulmate,just get married.No engagement."

And she continued again,"If you really want to be engaged though,I suggest,make it for at most 3 months.Ok?"

The reason is,

"Because it HURTS~".

I agree with what she was saying.To be concise,once you decide to be engaged with someone,the truth is,you like him.Like him (or love him?) means, part of your heart is with him,or in other words,you have a feeling towards him.True?In fact,that actually makes you suffer...

As it goes,"Loving someone is painful..."

Being engaged with someone is definitely a sweet moment in your life.BUT,bear in mind,it is also a TEST to your imaan.How many people can control himself/herself from the insisting lust in his/her heart..?I mean,well...yes,you have engaged.It is unavoidable if you are missing your fiancée/fiancé.In fact,they will say,”That’s natural dude...” Yes,that is natural.But the act that follows your natural feeling will be judged,as to whether you choose to be one of the mujahideen or one who I will give a term, ” a loser”.

Why a loser?

Because you lose to your own feeling,your nafsu.Let me give you an analogy.

It is natural to eat.Huh,it’s necessary to eat.Everybody eats.But something that you call TAQWA will determine how much do you eat.For those who live to eat,he will never stop until he is entirely full and cannot go for more.But those who always remember the border in Islam,he will not eat much.As The Prophet Muhammad said,”Stop eating before you are full.” And he knows,eating much will make you lazy to perform more ibadah..By that I call him a winner.He is against his own lust to eat much just because of Allah.

Truely,loving someone is natural.But the way you love and the way you give your commitment to your relationship is something to look at.Engagement is not the license to enable you to do something which is against the syari'aat.There are people who take for granted the title they have got by engagement to go out frequently.Dating.Or by what you call it,"bergayut"...

Indeed,syaitaans always strive to bring us astray from His path.As they said:

[82] (Iblis) said: "Then by Thy Power, I will put them all in the wrong,

[83] "Except Thy Servants amongst them, sincere and purified (by Thy grace)."

[84] (Allah) said: "Then it is just and fitting, and I say what is just and fitting;

[85] "That I will certainly fill Hell with thee and those who follow thee, every one."

[Al-Quran:Surah Sod]

For those who are looking for purification in his soul,he will prevent himself from doing bad deeds to Allah SWT.When you feel shy or ashamed if people know what you do/did,then,that is the offence i.e sin.Agree...?For example,if you feel ashamed of eating during the day of Ramadhan (eating without any acceptable reasons by syari'aat),then you know it is a sin.If you do eat during the day of Ramadhan in public,then you have no imaan.Verily,a thief will not steal other people's properties if he has imaan in his heart.[Part of Hadith..].

I am bringing this issue because I am a bit proud of a friend,who has just got married last summer after being engaged about 1 year.Based on her own experience she advising me so.She told me how painful it was;when you keep your desire,your feeling,your affliction to your fiance,control your manner towards him so that it will not against the syari'aat,only for the sake of Allah SWT.Because she and her fiance knew,there are rules to be followed,to be obeyed which will bring them closer to Allah's blessing,which will make Allah looking at them with rahmah and mawaddah.

Indeed,now they are blessed with rahmah and mawaddah by the marriege,as promised by The Lord of The World ,to whom is patient and keep himself from the bad lust.Remember always,your pain in keeping and putting syari'aat of Allah at the highest place will be granted with priceless,invaluable nikmat from Him.For those who are hoping the rewards in the HereAfter,then look for His blessing and maghfiraah (forgiveness) in this life.

I am happy for my friend and her husband as they have tied a knot and have passed the engagement period successfully (inshaAllah,may Allah count it and reward it ) after lots,lots of trials and tests they have undergone.They were suffering,but they bore it for the sake of Allah.These people are the example of good imaan (inshaAllah),who have the fikrah of Islam..and the most important thing is,put Allah above all else.

Do you want to be part of these people..?

"Tepuk dada,tanya imaan..."

[9] "Indeed he succeeds who purifies his own self (i.e obeys and performs all that Allah ordered,by following the True Faith of Islamic Monotheism and by doing righteous good deeds)."

[Al-Quran:Surah As-Shams ]

Last but not least,I would like to stress here that I am not trying to say that engagement is wrong.And not even to say that it is HARAM.Only that,if you think you better get engaged to 'preserve' yourself or he/she,so that you can follow the right path rather than having such an illegal relationship ( i mean couple-douple),then,go for it.And may you always 'preserve' yourself during the engagement period,keep the syari'aat and do not over the limit..

My intention of writing this entry is to bring all of us to think and to ponder,the way we act in order to achieve Allah' blessing.Indeed,there are various levels of imaan.To those who want higher grade of imaan and taqwa,they will choose the footsteps of al-muttaqeen...To those who puts syari'aat of Allah as the border in his life,indeed,Allah will grant him His blessing in this life and in the HereAfter,InshaAllah...

Wanna be the winner?

your way,your choice..

~*~May Allah give me the person whose heart is always remembering Allah,who will guide and show me the true path of Islam,who will teach me to love Allah more than anything else in this world,who has good manner as the beloved Prophet Muhammad,who will rejoice my life in the way of Islam,

...also may Allah put me under His blessing and indeed,I seek refugee from Allah,my the only Lord,from the bad lust and bad manner..may Allah bring me closer to Him,make me one of the mukminaat,and one who is always getting guidance and hikmah from Him..~*~

ameen...